[

mood

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uncomfortable

]

So.... I moved out of my dad's house last night... Out of the blue. For the past two months, him and I have not been getting along like we usually do.. There has been so much going on, and lately, I have just been bottling everything up inside... 

Things got really bad when I came back from Spain. 

I really dont know how to explain how things got so bad, but they did... I suppose it could be a mixture of things. Trying to go to school, not being able to fill out my fasfa's, work, money, court, debt, trying to figure out what to do about everything. I can only handle so much until it finally takes over.


Shitty thing is now I have to hold off on moving to Austin. It will take me a bit longer to save up for the move out of state.. But I think I am still going to go for it.. Just for the change of scenery.


*sigh*

[	Current Location	|	Work	]
[	mood	|	sick	]

I will be in Spain in six days... Crazy.

My stomach has hated me the past two days... WTF....If I am sick when I go to Spain, I am going to be pissed. 



Other then that, my job interview for Austin went well I think.. So I am hoping this all works out in the end. I think this whole scenerio will be a nice change for me. Something I cant really expect anything from, since I have never lived outside of Arizona. I am excited to see what Texas has in store for me.

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming


Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies



These lyrics pretty much sum all of it up. I just want to go. I wish my dad would let me make my own mistakes for once.

[	Current Location	|	Work	]
[	mood	|	crushed	]
[	music	|	Aish Tamid - Matisyahu	]

It is time for a change.. I am sick of the same old shit going on. 

When Aug/Sept rolls around, I will no longer be living in the great state of Arizona. I have decided I am young, single, and have nothing here to hold me back from moving on to see what else is out there. I have lived here my whole life, and in all honesty.. I am terrified to leave. But, I want to know what the world has, and I want to know if I can make it on my own. Yes, I will have help on the way thanks to some close friends, but this will be the end for Arizona. For now. Who knows, I might come back in a month, a year, or maybe 10 years. For now, its off to Austin, TX... Then after that... I really havent decided.

I really dont know what to expect.



Other then that... I just found out both my registration and insurace expired.. And I dont have the finances to pay it off.. Yay... So no driving around for Noelle anymore.

Fuck.



I realized a couple things about the scene this past weekend. While I was at the party, observing the people around me, I realized there is nothing here for me anymore other then the music. Yes, there are those people that are like family to me. I just get the feeling I am out of place when I go to parties now. Nothing seems the same anymore. Everything is so different. I dont think I can explain the way I feel about it other then the fact its not a great feeling. I love the music... I used to love the people... The vibe... But everything is just so "off". I think a break from parties will help me none the least. After this weekend.. Dont expect me to show for a long time, if ever again while I am still here. 


It is time for me to make a change. Things are not working out the way they should. Yes, I know... The good things in life do not always come so easy... But its those good things I am not searching for... It's pure satisfaction that I want... Satisfaction knowing that I am OK... Even if I may be broke, helpless, unsure of the coming months/years ahead of me. I just want things to be gratifying in some way.

Well... I am doing nothing but rambling on and on.. SO I will shut up now.

[	Current Location	|	home	]
[	mood	|	cranky	]
[	music	|	infected mushroom	]

Sometimes I really cannot understand the things people do. As some of you know, I have been having some issues with a couple people. If someone hates you so bad, and wants you to "go away", wouldnt you want to deal with the person themselves instead of material items the person owns?
Nothing pisses me off more then people who want to fuck with personal property instead of fucking with the person themselves. But, this does show me how inmature and low these people are willing to go. Personally, I am not going to plan anything in return. Why would I want to stoop to someones level so low? I am just going to let this slide with a smile on my face. This shows me that I can be the bigger person, which in my eyes, wins all in the end. I hope they are happy with what they did to my truck.

Fucking children.

[	Current Location	|	work	]
[	mood	|	curious	]

Yesterday, I had a very insightful conversation with a good old friend of mine. She is someone who likes to sit back and watch people before she joins in. Something I am very far from becoming. As most of my friends know, I am loud and thrive off attention. As I was talking to her about some things going on in my life, she brought up some very good points I really never thought about before.
She helped me realize what I want, and what I need to do to get it.

Now all I need to do is find it.

BTW - My blog is starting to all come together where I want it to be... Comment on that shiiiit.
AZ Rave Scene

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mood

|

content

]

So it seems as if I forget this site is here at all... I dont post as often as I should. This has always been a good way for me to get the things off my chest...

Lately, things have been all sorts of crazy. I feel as if I need a vacation everytime another work week goes by... Not just a two day weekend vacation, but a long week or even month long vacation. I would love to get away from Arizona for a little while and get things worked out inside me. There is soo much going on, and I am afraid its going to take it toll on me sooner or later.

My crush is no longer a crush, the money is no longer an issue, the job is starting to get old, my living situation has turned into shambles, and I am just tired. All the time.

I miss an old friend of mine dearly... Someone I could talk with for hours, have the best time with, love. Its too bad he doesnt feel the same way...

Things will turn around, I have a feeling the next month will hold good things for me. I am just hoping that is the way its really going to pan out.

Other then that... New blog post..

I fucking hate the fact that every time I put my heart out to someone they always break it.

[

mood

|

happy

]

Here is a short update in the life of FaMouS.


* I had the best birthday ever! Thank you to everyone that came out. I hope all of you had a wonderful time.
* The singles night planning that I have been doing has been working out especially well... It's a good way to meet new people, so if you are interested in attending one, let me know and I will give you details.
* Work is going amazingly well, I love this place.
* I have met lots of new friends. These people are amazing!!!!!
* Still single, but thats a good thing.
* My blog is almost up and running, its been cached and is now ranking #3 in Google :) Arizona Rave Scene
* Spain is a definate go, I will have the funds to make my trip.
* I have Tool tickets, FUCK YES!
* Also have tickets to Killswitch Engage, the drag races this weekend, and Mission G!
* I'm still sober off EVERYTHING. Except beer.
* I know what I want to go to school for, and I will be starting in the Fall.
* I still live at home, which is fine... I got a huge new TV in my room... WOOO! 

Life is still good. Wow.

First of all.. I am good. 

Second... I have a nail in my tire. Fuck

Third...

I eat zombies for breakfast with a spoon. 



Other then that... Life is pretty much alright. lol

[	mood	|	cheerful	]
[	music	|	forever - papa roach	]

For once in my life, I am ok with the way things ended up. 


I am really looking forward to what this year is going to bring. 

It feels good to be clean again.... I am happy once again. Nothing can tear me down at this point.






Sorry to all of the good friends I have not seen in awhile... I've been lost. 


Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever...

Not anymore.